What's going on in the world of me....

[yellowvalley]

My 13 year old nephew got mauled by his sharpei/golden retriever mix on Wednesday morning.  Thanks God for Akron Children's hospital, I'm telling you.  Mom misunderstood his father and told me he was being life flighted there, when he actually went by ambulance.  Talk about heart attack!  He has a broken jaw, broken humerous (close to his elbow-ouch) and several lacerations.  They haven't decided yet if they need to wire his jaw shut; it hasn't affected his bite or anything so we are hoping it'll heal by itself.  Overall, he's okay though, surprisingly. He was more worried about his other dog being taken away with the one that bit him than about himself.

Sister's stupid con boyfriend will probably try to blame my nephew.  Asshat.  On the plus side, he is a felon and is not allowed around my other nephew, so he can't come around the house now that my nephew is on probation.  Yay!  My sister told me she'd keep him away, but if she doesn't, I won't be hesitant in calling child services to report her.  He's an ass to the kids, and when he's around her priorities get screwed. The dog attacked my nephew because this guy abused it.  It had attacked my sister once already, tore a chunk of her leg out, and she still kept it because it was HIS dog. 


I just applied to Akron University.  On a whim.  Like,seriously, 5 minutes ago I looked up their main page and filled out applications and financial aid stuff.  Now I've got to do transripts and application fee of $30 bucks.  I know I'm smart, well above average actually, but I've always been intimidated by OMG BIG FOUR YEAR COLLEGE.  I decided I'm not going to be anymore.  No one in my family has gone and I think that sunk in during my last year of high school and felt I'd be out of place trying to break into that arena.  Now i'm thinking, why the hell not?

I'm going to go sciences.  Physics, geophysics, microbiology.  Maybe philosophy.  I would need to take intermediate classes since it's been so long since high school, so I have time to settle into a specific major.  I want to be challenged for once in my life.  I want to feel useful.  I don't need to settle into an entry level technical role to do that.  
 
I thought I'd do paramedic/EMT stuff, but I realized I was settling.  I want to be helpful, useful, doing something technical, but without the schooling and junk that goes with that.  

Fuck it.  I'm going for it all.

I think I deserve it.



hmm.  I just sat here for five minutes staring at this little entry into this journal that no one reads.

Now I'm kind of panicking here.  OMG FOUR YEARS OF SCHOOL.  I can imagine my family and friends' reactions to this.  Incredulity.  Disbelief.  They all know I'm smart, but, I don't know.  I've never really shown asperations before, at least to other people besides me and myself and I.  And I have always talked myself out of it.

Who the fuck do I think I am, thinking that I can seriously do this?............................  


And Did I seriously just think that?  If my nephews said that about themselves, I'd hit the roof.

Oh Hell.  We'll see what happens, won't we?

And how appropriate is my icon, in a way?

Comments

[staggeronward.livejournal.com]

I read.

And go for it with school. I spent several years kicking myself for getting a degree, a degree in English, no less, every time I flipped a burger. But even if I'd never gotten a job in my field, even though I have more student loan debt than I make in a year, there was a piece of paper that said I'd done it.

My husband, who never finished school, makes more money than I do, but still wishes he had that peice of paper.

But listen to me giving you a pep talk when I've been talking myself out of a masters degree for years now.

[yellowvalley.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think I'm panicking because it's a hell of alot of effort to agree to, and I've never really had to put effort into anything. I coasted through high school, and managed to support myself in easy-as-pie jobs just fine. Had to even, because I was needed at home more than anything. I want to do this now, for me.

But fucking physics? Microbiology? In a way, it seems so above me, ya know? Yet It feels right, and when I think about it logically, one bit at a time, I know I could do it.

Oh, Holy Hell. I'm just going to try to take it one month at a time, and go from there. Maybe it won't seem so daunting then.

Hee. Yes it's so much easier to pump other people up than it is to do it yourself.

But you know you want that Masters, so go get it!!!